|
claudiuslt
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Nate
Country: United States
State: Colorado
Metro: Colorado Springs
Birthday: 1/25/1978
Gender: Male
Interests: open ocean boating, surfing, whale watching, snorkling, and other Colorado type thingys.
Expertise: making people's hearts stop beating... then making them beat again
Occupation: Medical
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  claudiuslt
Member Since:
1/12/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Once again I have lured you all into my trap by enticing your
imaginations with the expectation that you will soon be reading about a
Parrot of Doom. In all reality there is only one such creature
alive today and I know nothing about her except for her mere existence,
which i should tell you i haven't been totally assured by my sources is
accurate information in the first place. That being said, if you
still want to read you may, but if you choose not to, i can agree that
the deception would be enough to drive me away as well. To be quite
honest i doubt if i would read this if i was not having to by the very
nature of writing it. what i really want to say is a simple story
about dog days - here it goes -
Early this here morning
i got up out of bed
to the horrible, horrible sound
of dogs barking off their heads
I let them out the back door
where the bears and wolves did wait
for it is not my resposibility
to choose the house pets fate
Hugo ran up to an angry bear
which stood tall on it's muscular thighs
but Hugo shook his body back and forth
and shed all in it's eyes
Molly walked staight up to a wolf
who's grin was like a gun loaded
but Molly sneezed thrice that day
and that poor wolf's brain exploded
Kerby chose a different method
he rolled over next to a bear unbeaten
his puppy dog eyes and upright belly didn't work
for Kerby was quickly eaten
Kenya's ruthlessness comes out when around chidren
so she rounded up all the wolf and bear cubs in a jiff
and then she herded them and ran them round in a circle
then ran them all right off a cliff
The adult bears and wolves were all very mad
but they were also very blind and brain dead
and they retreated angry for a lack of meal
(except for one bear who was very well fed)
Hugo, Molly, and Kenya that day
of battle had seen their fill
so they made a plaque and posted it there
it read, "The Battle at Kerby Hill"
So that's the story of my day, and it was a tough day where i learned a
lot about myself and stuff. oh yeah, and i learned about the
fragile nature of something or something. anyway, afterwards the
plaque was devoured (most likely by Hugo). Also the bear that ate
Kerby later died of complications brought on from an emergent
dysenteryectomy. Evidently Kerby before going into battle had
poisoned himself to better dogkind forever...
| | |
| Xanga
ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION
points to the first person to tell me the actor which my very own
cousin - Bumquesha - couldn't think of in her last entry.
That's right! ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION points! Read
Bumquesha's xanga entry about New York and who her boy friend has seen
and tell me who that actor is and you will recieve an envelope in the
mail with ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION points!
Must be at least 180 to enter. Prize consists of
ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION points which are worth nothing. Nothing of
value will be awarded to the winnner except the aforementioned ONE
HUNDRED BAZILLION points. To redeem the useless ONE HUNDRED
BAZILLION points, please send half of a self addressed stamped envelope
to P O Box ONE HUNDERD BAZILLION Colorado Springs CO 80901. I
reeterate that the ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION points is virtually worthless
and will be excepted by absolutely no retail shops, ski villages, gas
stations, butchers, chiropractors, ski doo rental shops, dollar stores,
ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION point stores, homeless people, homely people,
dogs, martians, or your mom. Employees of the ONE HUNDRED
BAZILLION points factorys are exempt from winning this prize.
Employees of Starbucks, Chipotle, Wendy's, McDonalds, Blockbuster, Blue
Heron books, Big Train family, and thinkandwonder.org are exempt from
winning this worthless, worthless prize. All residents of the US,
China, Afganistan, Portugal, and the UK are exempt from this
prize. Citizens of France are stongly discouraged from taking
part in this fiasco, and those who are currently in orbit are
restricted from spoiling it for the rest of us, as they can quite
obviously see the answer from space. There is only one prize of
ONE HUNDRED BAZILLION points awarded. Other prizes consist of
PS2, Burton snowboard, Disneyland trip, Coupon for ONE HUNDRED
BAZILLION 'hot apple pies' from McDonalds (redeemable only all at
once), a date with Cleatus, a spider plant cutting, and a gently used
frog named 'Bonzi the destoyer'. Please disregard the previous
list of prizes as no one will ever recieve any of those things due to
participation in this game. Now please stop wasting your own time
by reading this filth.
| | |
| Hello to all the helper monkeys out there, just waiting to be
fed! I haven't posted in quiet some time and I thought that
whilst here where the internet runs rampant (Surprise, AZ), it would be
nice to keep up with all my xanga homies. If you've been keeping
up with Bumquesha's site you'll know that I'm visiting my Aunty and
Uncle and that my Aunt was just sent to the state pen and it's all my
fault. Now my uncle and I are going to bust her outta
there. We've been experimenting with baking cakes with usful
jailbreak type things in them, however, we are both very inept in the
kitchen and the fire departmetn has been here four times now, and
always ask, "what's that file doing in the oven?" Or, "Why where you
baking a loaded gun?" Anyway, we are still working out the kinks
and will soon be trying our new idea of building a machine that can go
back in time, (so the firemen won't be so suspicious). The last
time machine we attempted to build, I told Da Uncle (that's what I call
him), that he has to go first because, "I'm too young and good looking
to die." I haven't seen him since and oddly enough, an
archeologist I know has been very confused as of late because he
recently unearthed a man from the beginning of time that seems to be
holding a palm pilot. So I'm sure he had a good run away from the
dinosaurs. The thing is, now I'm hanging out here in Surprise AZ
all by my lonsome and not even my cousin Bumquesha can come out and
visit. So now I'm lonely and am going to look into buying a
camera.
Good day.
| | |
| Currently listening to:
My very own brain trying to sort through the crap.
| | |
| Under the intense pressure put on me by a single person who will remain
nameless, I am now updating my faux website. This person is a
girl who I call Buckle. The first person to guess the actual name
of this person gets a prize. The prize includes all off Buckles
credit card numbers, SSN, DOB, DOD, and a Jeep. Buckle and
buckles family members cannot win this prize.
Thank you for reading this, and may your days be filled with something.
| | |
|
